Preparing For Marriage

Today’s topic will be fun: Dating!

Is dating dead? Now days, it seems like people just “hang out” with each other and call it a date. Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is not a date. For something to be considered a “date,” it needs to follow the rule of the three P’s: Paid for, Planned, and Paired off. Let’s talk about these for a moment. When I say “paid for,” I don’t mean a date is only a date if you use money. Instead, it just means having the resources in place. Next, “planned” means that you are not sending a spontaneous text at the last minute. It is thought through, and there is a “When” a “What” and a “Where.” There is a purpose. This also shows respect to the person you are asking on a date, and it tells them that their time is valuable. Planning things out also establishes that it is, in fact, a date and not just a hangout. Finally, being paired off means you and the person you ask on a date are together, and you two are responsible for each other. Look out for one another and keep each other safe. Pairing off also shows commitment to the person (which will later help you out in the future with your spouse – but that’s a later topic.) Dating is fun and it’s preparation for marriage. There’s the saying that the way we date is the way we marry.  So date a wide variety of people in a variety of ways because you can learn so much and make fun memories.

If dating is so great, then why is it so different now than it was 50 years ago? Today, it seems like we date fewer people, and from what I’ve seen, people mostly date exclusively and then dump the person later. “Date ‘em ‘til you hate ‘em” is a phrase that we use to describe this. This directly goes against what I said just a second ago. Why are people hung up on the titles “boyfriend” and “girlfriend?” Also, there is another unnecessary and silly problem with dating: We don’t know what it means anymore. People aren’t on the same page anymore. There are many stories where people don’t know if they’re dating or not. Or one thinks they’re dating and the other thinks they are just friends. This leads to a lot of problems and a lot of tension. Make it clear, people! And maybe, instead of calling it dating, if you are dating the person you want to eventually marry, call it a courtship. It’s so dumb that we have so many definitions and confusions over a concept that has been going on for years and years.

Anyways, dating – if done correctly – can be fun, memorable, and insightful. Date many types of people and try new things. And ladies, it’s okay to ask the guys out on dates. There’s a really great article about this that I encourage you to read. http://ldsmag.com/article-1-12419/